Networking has a reputation for being all about presentation. The right pitch, the right outfit, the right smile. But talk to people who’ve been doing it for years and you’ll hear the same thing: what makes conversations stick isn’t performance. It’s the questions. The way you ask them, and the way you listen when the answer comes back.
Too many chats at events get stuck in the shallow end. “What do you do?” “Where are you based?” “Busy at the moment?” These lines fill silence, but they don’t take anyone anywhere. A good question, though, can shift the entire rhythm of a conversation. It signals curiosity. It shows that you see the person in front of you as more than a name badge.
Curiosity Beats Cleverness
There’s always pressure to be interesting or to sound smart or memorable. But what most people really want, especially when the room is full of strangers, is to feel heard. A thoughtful question does more for trust than any clever remark. It tells the other person you are paying attention, not just waiting for your turn to talk.
That’s part of why in-person events still matter so much. You can share details online all day, but nothing compares to someone leaning in, asking something genuine, and staying with you while you answer. It’s one of the reasons face-to-face still beats everything for building trust, and why articles like networking without feeling salesy or pushy resonate with people. They remind us that curiosity and care carry more weight than polish.
It’s also why UKNetworker keeps building spaces where these conversations can happen, whether through event listings or the community that grows around them.
What Makes a Question Good?
There isn’t a single recipe, but there are qualities that stand out. Good questions are open, not closed. They create room for stories instead of one-word answers. Compare these two:
- Closed: “Do you like running your own business?” – likely to get a quick “yes” or “no.”
- Open: “What’s the most rewarding part of running your business?” – invites a story, a reflection, a detail you can build on.
Good questions also avoid being leading. A leading question suggests the answer you want: “You must be finding things tough in this economy?” puts someone on the defensive. An open alternative like “How have you found things recently?” leaves space for them to tell their own truth. The difference may sound small, but the impact is huge. One locks a conversation down. The other opens it up.
You can take it further. Instead of asking about job titles, try asking what they enjoy about their work. Instead of “How long have you been with that company?” ask “What made you choose that field?” These kinds of prompts uncover values, motivations, even stories people don’t usually share… That’s where genuine connection starts.
Listening as the Second Half
A question is only half the exchange. What comes after is where the real weight lies. Nodding while you plan your next line isn’t listening. Picking up on a detail and asking the next natural question is. That’s when the other person feels the difference. They stop performing and start opening up. And often, you find that the conversation becomes more productive for both of you. Not just pleasant, but useful.
For Regulars: Breaking the Pattern
If you’ve been networking for years, it’s easy to slip into autopilot. Same questions, same stories, same safe ground. The cure is curiosity. Ask about challenges, highlights, or what they’re most excited about next. Ask how they see the event itself. Even one fresh question can snap you out of routine and make the evening worthwhile.
A Reason Worth Turning Up
No single question will change your business overnight. But the habit of asking better ones does change the quality of your conversations. It turns polite small talk into moments you remember on the drive home. It makes people think of you as someone they’d like to meet again – and that’s where opportunities grow.
So next time you walk into a room, resist the urge to perform. Find a question that makes you genuinely curious. Ask it. Care about the answer. In a world where everyone is busy talking, being the one who listens might just be the sharpest move you can make.
