We all know the feeling of being in a room and noticing the one person everyone seems to be edging away from. Sometimes it is obvious why, other times it is more subtle. What most people do not realise is that avoidable habits often sit behind those awkward moments. The good news is that once you become aware of them, you can change the way people respond to you – and do it in a way that feels natural, not forced.
Why people back away
Networking events are designed for connection, yet they can bring out nervous habits that turn people off. The most common one is being overly sales-driven. When every conversation begins with a pitch, the other person feels like a target rather than a potential colleague. The result is that they start looking for an exit as soon as they shake your hand.
Another reason is lack of listening. Interrupting, cutting across, or steering everything back to yourself leaves the other person feeling ignored. Some people also fall into the trap of talking too much, filling the space without pause, dominating the conversation so there’s little room for others to join in. Add in closed body language – arms folded, minimal eye contact… and you risk signalling disinterest even when you are trying hard to connect. Then there is the hovering: standing on the edge of a group too long without stepping in, or lingering after a chat has clearly run its course. These small cues add up and can make people want to slip away rather than stick around.
Shifting the energy
Changing the way people respond starts with a simple adjustment: focus on them. Listening actively and asking thoughtful questions creates an instant shift in energy. Instead of pushing for space, you are opening it. A conversation becomes a shared moment rather than a one-sided performance.
Respecting space and timing matters too. At larger events, people expect to speak with more than one person, so do not monopolise the moment. Leave room for others to join, and be willing to move on gracefully when it is time. That also means giving others space to talk, letting pauses breathe, and resisting the urge to keep filling the silence yourself. This does not mean cutting a chat short, it means being aware of rhythm. Some of the most effective networkers know that leaving someone wanting more is often better than overstaying your welcome.
Another shift is to share something of yourself without turning it into a sales pitch. A detail about why you are interested in the event, or a quick story that shows what you value in your work, makes you relatable. People warm to authenticity, not rehearsed scripts. Articles such as The Art of Asking Good Questions in this magazine highlight how much difference genuine curiosity can make.
What ‘not being a creep’ means
The phrase may sound playful, but it carries weight. In a networking context, being a creep usually means pushing too hard, ignoring signals, or forcing intimacy. Oversharing personal details too quickly can make others uncomfortable. So can hovering close without contributing to the conversation. The key is to match the tone of the room and move with it, not against it.
Clarity helps here. Be upfront about why you are connecting – whether you are looking to explore collaborations, understand someone’s business better, or simply swap ideas. Professionals respect transparency. It stops your approach feeling like a hidden agenda.
Equally important is knowing when to step away. If a conversation has reached its natural close, acknowledge it with warmth and move on. “It’s been great talking, let’s connect later” is often enough. That small act shows you respect both your time and theirs, and it leaves the door open for another meeting.
Turning avoidance into approachability
No one sets out to be the person others avoid. Most of the time it comes from nerves, habit, or lack of awareness. By shifting your attention outward, balancing your presence, and staying clear in your intentions, you make yourself easier to approach. You also give yourself more space to enjoy the event for what it is: a chance to connect with people, not a pressure cooker to prove yourself.
Networking works best when it feels natural. That is the rhythm we aim to support here at UKNetworker, whether through the magazine, the community, or the ever-growing set of events listed on the platform. If you want more ideas on staying approachable, take a look at Networking for People Who’d Rather Be Anywhere Else – another reminder that there are ways to show up without the pressure of performance.
In the end, approachability is not about tactics. It’s about presence, rhythm, and respect. Get those right, and you will find that people no longer avoid you, they seek you out.
